I had a blog post all written up to celebrate TMIFriday, or my penis, or weightloss or some other randomness, but if you will indulge me…
It has been a long time since I wrote to you. First, let me just say, Happy Birthday princess. You are one year old today and though that means nothing to you yet, it means that you survived. Infant mortality rates ONLY go up from here, and what? With all the damn co-sleeping you insist on, and knowing your in-home brother and sister, well, this is nothing short of a miracle.
Back on 2010 when I met your mom, my whole world was turned upside down. I didn’t know that the deep seed in the back of my head that was you would come to be. I barely was able to kiss your mom without her intervention on our first date. Your mom rocks my world, then and now (when you let me have any time with her, that is. You are a jealous baby).
I thought that if I met the right woman, I’d be OK with having a baby. I wasn’t going out and trying to make you, but if the worlds aligned, I wasn’t going to bitch too much. Well, we found out on a quiet night in September of 2011 that you would be joining us. Your mom told me she already knew because of a tarot reading, but this was empirical proof you were going to be in our life.
At the time we called you Gummy, because that is what you looked like, an effing gummy bear. The whole time in the early stages, I was whispering on the wind that I hoped you were a girl. I prayed, and hoped you would be my little girl. Mommy wanted a boy, and did everything she could to thwart daddy’s attempt at wishing you into a girl. The good news is, that the Goddess likes daddy more and I remember when the sonogram technician said, “there is the hamburger parts, and it’s a girl”. I have no idea to this day what that means, but I got and still get a tear in my eye when I think of that moment. So perfect, it was as if all my dreams were coming true.
One thing you don’t know about your mom is that she is the perfect baby incubator; I am now calling her the Iron Womb. We had an uneventful pregnancy and even the doctor, Dr. Garg. Was surprised at how you just kind of shot out of mommy. Your aunt Amy was there, and that was probably the last time you saw her, but after the doctor, I was the first to get to hold you. Before mommy, before the nurse, before anyone else, I got to hold my little girl. Ten toes, ten fingers and you opened your eyes and looked at me for the briefest of seconds with all that gross womb shit stuck to you. Gross.
The year has flow by baby. It has been 20 months since you changed me forever. I will be an “old father” and that is my only regret. But I will be there for you princess, every day in every way you need me. It is the same promise I have made to your older brothers and sister, even though they need me less and less these days as they get older. But you, I’ve got you for at least a few years all to me, and I am going to take them and love the shit out of you.
Happy birthday princess,