I was recently at a funeral for my grandfather and was really really really losing it; see, i was to be a pallbearer (which I found out less than 12 hours prior) and I am just not in good shape, second, the funeral was in SLC where I cannot breathe anyway. It is proven that altitude plus fat equals heart attack weighting to happen (see what I did there?). So, to cut to the point….
…I had to stop carrying my grandfather to his grave. At that point I felt the lowest I have EVER felt, and I promise, I have done some very shitty things to good people. My grandfather was a hard working, proud, carry the load kind of guy and in that moment, I realized, I was everything he wasn’t. I was weak, tired and fucking lame.
I broke down into some tears over both the loss, which runs very deep to me, and to the fact that I continue to gain weight going the wrong way. It is like I have gone fucking insane. Needless to say, my other grandfather, an amazing man who has endured the loss of his son, his wife is in health rehab, took the time to come hug me and tell me it was going to be OK. Suddenly, I felt maybe he is right, it is going to be OK. Additionally he said, and mixed up his words but I know what he meant, to stop taking photos of the gym, and just do the work.
So, inspired by this lowest low, a project my wife is doing (My 365), and the wisdom of Grandpa Dick, I plan on doing the work – but of course I have to do it with my own flair. Hence Weightloss 365. Weightloss isn’t pretty every day, it sucks. I know cause I have lost an extreme amount of weight, yes I gained it back (I told people it was because it was so much fun to lose the first time, bullshit!). I plan on taking a picture of myself every day, for good or bad for one full year.
My hope is that the changes i see over time inspire me to go even harder, my fear is that I will only get fatter. Either way, let’s get it on. And before I forget. Rest in Peace Grandpa Jim, we’ve got it from here.
Day One: Quiet Solitude and a Dirty White Shirt