A Poetic Interlude to Get Started

I read a blog post today from someone that I admire and care for deeply.  It reminded me a little bit of who I am and where I came from and what I have lost within myself over the last 18 months.  Somewhere I had forgotten that I knew I was a rockstar and other people saw me the same; whether that was from being a kind man, a lover, a good father and listener, a great employee or an actual physical player of musical instrument.  I use to care for change, I use to care.

My change today was reignited by the word of my wife, who didn’t realize I read her post first thing this morning on Le Clown’s website, and she didn’t realize what she wrote was EXACTLY what I needed from her right now; I didn’t even know it at the time.

My wife is an amazing woman and she would not have been part of my life if my own life was pretty extraordinary in its own right.  Sure, I am not captain of an Antarctic cruiser, nor will I stand on top of Everest; but I can learn to swim and run and become an Ironman, I can listen more and play with the kids, I can do more dishes and stop making the kitchen a laundry – These small pieces of dignity are amazing.

These are the small wins, life throws them at you every fucking moment and we are too busy to see or feel them.  I feel today I have been given a second chance.  Maybe I had one years ago, but today, my wife reached me without trying and squeezed my hand and my heart and said, I love you and I stand by you.

I dedicate the man I am, the man I am becoming and the man I have been to you Amanda, thanks for reminding me of these words:

 Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
Had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
I just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom boom boom
“Son,” he said “Grab your things,
I’ve come to take you home.”

To keep in silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Tho’ my life was in a rut
“Till I thought of what I’d say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
“Hey” he said “Grab your things
I’ve come to take you home.”
(Back home.)

When illusion spin her net
I’m never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don’t need a replacement
I’ll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom boom boom
“Hey” I said “You can keep my things,
They’ve come to take me home.”

 –          P. Gabriel, Solsbury Hill

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s