Life is and always has been about choices and the impact they make on us. It’ like they say, if a cow farts in Iowa, an angel burns in Japan. Or something like that, I CHOSE not to remember. I am struggling in my professional life. I am being put out to pasture and I can feel it, for someone like me who is a triple-A personality, this bugs the living shit out of me. I hate feeling useless, lifeless, used up and patronized. I would rather be fired than strung along. How it is my fault that we lost the respect we did baffles my mind. I received little to no leadership from above when I specifically asked for it and was hung out like a whipping boy, possibly intended. I was made to do it to another, and I missed it when it came for me. I see my previous friends being made to beg borrow and steal to be where I was; so now I am being kept busy. Put out to pasture.   No clout, like it is my first day on the job. I can totally feel my throat closing and my blood pressure rising right now, awesome.

Personally, I am not in a position to start my own business, so I am limited to my choices. I see that I have exactly two choices. Quit and go back to Utah, which sounds effing fantastic. But I’d still need to find a job, and I really do not want to start over. Or two, become a fucking rock star again. You tell me I need to lose 200 pounds to fit in? Eff you, I will lose 205. You tell me to wear a tie from time to time? Eff you, every day. Under commit, over deliver. Sit-down, shut up and yes sir, 24/7. Welcome the new Mikey H. Stabber of backs, builder of fiefdoms. Uber wizard of data.

I have been played as a pawn under the fiefdom here, well, they haven’t taken me and when I get to the other side of the board, and I can be a queen. A HUGE raging thunder queen! Wait, wait. That is not sounding the way I want it. I can be a KNIGHT, with QUEEN powers, YES! Super knight. Super knight travels the board in pentacle patterns, or “A” patterns or whatever shitty pattern Super Knight feels like. Super knight will master his self-discipline, not be tardy, not call in – will sit through meetings and learn and learn and learn, and when he is ready, pounce!

Super Knight will invest with fervor into his fully vested 401 k plan so that when and if the day comes that his fiefdom is sacked, he will be left laughing, hauling his bag of gold to some kind of IRA or Roth plan or invest in his own business… Bwahahahaha.

Super Knight will shave every mother freaking day of the week. You want his face smooth as a baby’s but you sick weirdo? You got it, go on, touch it, feel the smoothness. Gross, you freak, I was making allegory.

I will be the quintessential first man in last man out daily; projects will be overrun by Super Knight. VP’s will want him, AVP’s will want to be him and the day will come, when the fiefdom smiles down on Super Knight and says, “Today is your day Super Knight, we are promoting you to AVP”, and Super Knight will look up from his data, and yell “NEVERMORE” and thrust his keyboard into the heart of the beast and the land will be free.

And then Super Knight, avenged of Mike, will go home, pack his things and trek back to Utah with his family in tow, singing praises of his name.

Yeah, I think that is exactly how it will go.



I have been wanting to post, I even thought about creating a new blog – forgetting this one, my old friend, like I have so many other things before.  It is hard for me to let go.

I wanted to check in, in case I have any readers left.  I’d like to say I’ve lost all my weight, I’d like to blog some fiction, I’d like to blog that I am happy.

But words carry only so much weight.

I need action.


The One Where I Have Come To Some Decisions (45 / 365)

My first bathroom selfie

My first bathroom selfie

If you are a casual follower, or a more seriously demented person and stalk my silliness on this page, you may have noticed my absence for two days.  This was by design.  I was thinking of stopping this project.  I was thinking about whether the direction of this project was actually helping me achieve my goals or just me being a dipshit.

Well, to be honest, I am exactly where I was 45 days ago.  BUT, that is not my blogs fault, it is my own self deprecation.  I hd forgotten what this blog was about.  Sharing and telling my experiences and associating that with pictures to learn to love myself.

Well, with that said, I am perfectly back and done with my self-indulgence.  I will ensure I am post my picture and some words of things I have learned or done along the way.  Thanks for putting up with my off days.


No Diapers Needed {42/365}

One day i will hunt down and harm the person who puts my baby girls naked rear end on the internet, but today is not that day. This is adorable, especially in the context that it happened. The family was busy cleaning or talking, and we took our eyes of our baby for a second while she was playing, and I guess it was time to go al fresco.

Its Friday, Act Like It: The Do Something Manifesto

Great post from a fellow blogger


Do Something.

Do something BIG.

Do something big enough to make a DIFFERENCE.

Do something big enough to make a difference that can be DEFINED and MEASURED.

Do something big enough to make a definable and measurable difference in your HEALTH, SPIRIT, FAMILY, WORK, COMMUNITY, or WORLD.

Pick one, NOW… it doesn’t matter which because to do one, is to do them all!

When you start your journey, you’re going to look outside yourself for direction, STOP , you’re going the wrong way! Look within your SPIRIT, it is the real you, it has  all the wisdom and knowledge that you will ever need…TRUST IT!


When you’ve done “IT” and you will, take all the proceeds that you’ve earned- the confidence, energy, strength, and  lessons learned and GO BACK, find someone who is either stuck, lost or has given up altogether and tell them-


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The One Where I am all Wet (28 / 365)

chug, chug, chug!

chug, chug, chug!

 I am trying very hard to give up soda, but it is addictive not unlike 90% of the things that are bad for you.  Funny thing is, I love me some ice cold water, the colder the better.  I like the flavor and the texture. Yes, water has texture (Or else there would not be any turgor pressure, jeez).  I try to get at least 128 ounces of water in daily.  As a diabetic it is crucial to process the nutrients and chemicals my body already has problems with.

Here are some other benefits of water you may or may not know:

1 – It is the bases of your sweat which is a natural detox.  Sweating, in the long run, clears your skin and pores, water assists with this.
2 – Drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning is better than coffee at waking you up – it energizes your mind and your body.
3 – It is a natural joint lubricant
4 – Feeling tired in the middle of the day, go get some water, it will stimulate your sluggishness and you will feel refreshed.
5-Headache relief.  A lot of headaches are chemical reactions in our body, sometimes and more often than not, by things we bring into our bodies, water will hydrate our cells causing them to be pliable as well as detox the chemicals and assist in relieving that nasty headache

So there you go, 5 things you may or may not know about the benefit of 8 glasses a day.