The One Where I am on a Date (38 / 365)

Nerd Glasses

Nerd Glasses

My wife and I have not been on a date in a long time, so when Mom and Pop In Law offer, we jumped on it.  Today has not been necessarily about physical health, but the quiet time and alone time we get until 2 PM, is completely a mental health check.   Our own mental health is just as important as the physical, and I feel so much stress relief tonight, makes me look forward to the bike ride and other tomorrow morning, followed by quiet time at the pool.  Until 2 PM.  Did I say that yet?  Tee-He.

We saw Man of Steel by the way, excellent.  It was not in 3D, I am helping her on a photo scavenger hunt for ClicknMoms.com.  Go see Man of Steel.  Seriously, now.

Namaste

The Have and the Have Not Knot

A fellow blogger of mine and I must be on the same wavelength, Awesome Ashilde (sorry my friend, I do not know how to add the diactric 😦 ), posted about the power of positive thinking and visioning called “What Can the Power of Your Mind Do?“;  Take a few moments and go check out her blog and then come back to this one.  Pretty awesome stuff eh?  Pretty bad pun there  forgive me.

For the past few weeks, since the end of May, I had been trying to figure out why I was not getting anywhere with my weight loss journey.  I was about to start my Weightloss 365 project, I was a member of Gym-Pact and going to the gym at least 4 times a week but still not losing, and in fact, I had gained a couple more.  Looking back, we were still not key on the food side and that was a big part of it, but an even bigger part goes back over 16 months now.  Probably to October 2011.

That was the month I stopped seeing me as a triathlete, a runner, a climber, a hiker or fitness rat.  Instead my vision changed to that of husband and father at 40.  And it scared me, it brought me a lot of stress, fear, doubt and anger at times.  Of COURSE this was in addition to all of the love, happiness, gladness, excitement and hope that overwhelmed the others like 4 to 1, but it was still a seed and my vision plan of Mike fell to the side.

When you are planning something big you simply cannot get off plan.  I had gotten just over halfway to my goal weight in a little over 1 year.  I had lost over 120 pounds in 13 months, that is freaking huge and I had so much more on my plate but decided I could focus on myself less and less and focus on the other roles first.

When we see professional athletes or musicians that are literally at the top of their game, what do we think?  sometimes we think arrogance and ego and we would not be wrong.  There is so much work to be the best at your game that you have to put yourself first and for right or wrong, sometimes that causes these men and women to make bad choices and cheat at their sport, or in their personal life.  But at the core of what they were doing, putting themselves and their game first, was absolutely correct.

Let me ask you a question, if you are out of shape and not taking care of yourself before ALL other things, how are you going to be around to take care of everything else?  You won’t be.

That was what I had forgotten, before my wonderful marriage and baby with Amanda it was easy, I was alone and could and would put my needs above all others.  I still have to, just tempered down a notch and I have to remember it’s not going to be as easy as it was before.  But I still can do it.  I don’t blame anyone or expect anyone sympathy for my loss of vision, that is what vision is, it belongs to the owner so nobody can take it away.  I alone lost it.

Think about Christian prayer, Wiccan spellcasting, pre-game drills and rituals, rally caps.  What do all of these have in common?  They are all part of the vision process and allow us to creatively see what we want, focus energy on it and make it happen, and believe me when I say i have cast a few spells and got EXACTLY what i wanted even though maybe I wasn’t 100% on target to what i wanted.

By seeing myself as a triathlete in making, a hiker and climber, I had  become these things.  I was riding my bike everywhere, I had taken up running and was looking for a swim team to learn to swim.  I was hiking at least every few weeks, both urban and nature, and was well on my way to climbing by the end of 2012.  Then my vision changed as I mentioned and I saw myself as father, husband and breadwinner.  I have to incorporate my earlier vision into my current vision.

To make this long post come to a close, last week I began to see myself as father, husband, breadwinner, triathlete in making, climber, hiker, and cheerleader for my kids and family and continue to use POSITIVE voice instead of NEGATIVE voice, I have made some folks smile, made a new friend or two and weight wise have lost over 5 pounds this week.  That is amazing and part of my vision.  The most awesome thing about this, is that creative visioning is self-perpetuating.

What do I mean?  The more I see myself in the way I want to be seen, the easier it is to meet my short to intermediate goals and when I meet those goals, it is easier to see myself in the way I want to be seen and so on.  Amazing!  It works.

So for this week I challenge YOU to post one positive thing in social media, to workout at least three times this week and more importantly, come up with one positive light to see yourself in this week and make it happen.  I KNOW you can do this, I can see it in you.

Before I forget to all those who are fathers or “fathers” or fathers to be, happiest of all fathers day to you.  It is the unsung hero of our generation who makes his kids feel like they can achieve anything.

Namaste.

The One Were I am Amazed (10 / 365)

Chilling after a 10:15 PM workout, cause sometimes that is what it takes (Work)

Chilling after a 10:15 PM workout, cause sometimes that is what it takes (Work)

My wife hates it when I thug up my pic, but I can’t help it, I am a four digit hustler, trying to make racks and stacks, all while swinging new jacks and stuff.  Actually, if you want to see what my life is like, this post over at an up and coming photographer’s website really captures two of the most important things to me, be careful, it is so gangster.

On a serious note, I am amazed and thankful and a little apologetic.  I have a theme for this blog and it is inspiration and motivation and documenting ME to truly learn to appreciate myself through mini posts about my day, with some longer posts spread in for good note on some days (One in the works for tomorrow), I call this my WeightLoss 365:  Sometimes Fitness isn’t Pretty.  Yesterday’s post, 9/365, i actually pulled off of FB, but left on WP for better or worse.  i was trying to be funny, but kind of went the other way from inspiring.  i stand by my work as a whole, so I left it up here, but after re-reading it, I sounded kind of pervey and juvenile.  And that is not the theme of this blog.

Why I am amazed is that after 7 days of working on myself mentally, not eating out and giving a meh effort in the gym (meaning this week I would rate on a 6 / 10 for overall good ness, where before it was a 2 or 3), I have lost 5.6 pounds.  I am amazed and thankfull to my friends and my wife and kids who are letting me learn to put myself at the front again.  You effing rock.

Namaste.

WeightLoss 365

I was recently at a funeral for my grandfather and was really really really losing it; see, i was to be a pallbearer (which I found out less than 12 hours prior) and I am just not in good shape, second, the funeral was in SLC where I cannot breathe anyway.  It is proven that altitude plus fat equals heart attack weighting to happen (see what I did there?).  So, to cut to the point….

…I had to stop carrying my grandfather to his grave.  At that point I felt the lowest I have EVER felt, and I promise, I have done some very shitty things to good people.  My grandfather was a hard working, proud, carry the load kind of guy and in that moment, I realized, I was everything he wasn’t.  I was weak, tired and fucking lame.

I broke down into some tears over both the loss, which runs very deep to me, and to the fact that I continue to gain weight going the wrong way.  It is like I have gone fucking insane.  Needless to say, my other grandfather, an amazing man who has endured the loss of his son, his wife is in health rehab, took the time to come hug me and tell me it was going to be OK.  Suddenly, I felt maybe he is right, it is going to be OK.  Additionally he said, and mixed up his words but I know what he meant, to stop taking photos of the gym, and just do the work.

So, inspired by this lowest low, a project my wife is doing (My 365), and the wisdom of Grandpa Dick, I plan on doing the work – but of course I have to do it with my own flair.  Hence Weightloss 365.  Weightloss isn’t pretty every day, it sucks.  I know cause I have lost an extreme amount of weight, yes I gained it back (I told people it was because it was so much fun to lose the first time, bullshit!).  I plan on taking a picture of myself every day, for good or bad for one full year.

My hope is that the changes i see over time inspire me to go even harder, my fear is that I will only get fatter.  Either way, let’s get it on.  And before I forget.  Rest in Peace Grandpa Jim, we’ve got it from here.

Day One:  Quiet Solitude and a Dirty White Shirt

Mike, Day One 060613

Mike, Day One 060613

Monday – May 13th, 2013

There comes a time in every man’s life where he just realizes he is sick of it.  I have been over 300 pounds too damn long and I am sick of it.  I wanted to stop and get my secret two doughnut breakfast (that isn’t really a secret if your wife knows all about it and says nothing) and rockstar. I really did, and I almost stopped.  But I am sick of being sick.  I have said it before, that I needed a change, an epic change or an inspiration; but fuck it.  I realized overnight what motivated me to lose the weight the first time wasn’t divine inspiration, or the will to motivate.

 It was life or death desperation, time to shit or get off the pot.  The difference is, now I am playing for so much more.  I have the most amazing wife and kids who do not need an absentee father any more.  They need a dad who, by example, shows them how much fun life can be without sugar, soda and a shit ton of negativity.

 I am sick of being sick and tired.  I am sick of the boss, I am sick of Kate Moss.  I am sick of the characters on Friends, especially Ross.  Time to live like a boss, and run the ranch like my boy Hoss.  I have to take better care of my teeth with some dental floss, and gain control of my own life and weight loss.

 OK, forgive that, it was a little rambunctious beat poetry down your gullet.  But in all seriousness; I am tired of excuses.  YES.  It is going to suck for a while; I remember how boring it can be.  YES, your knees are going to be screaming in two weeks (but then, remember how one day, they just didn’t?).  Is it worth it, do I want it, can I do it, when?  Now.  No more bringing Amanda down; no more being jealous of the adventures my friends have; no more fucking excuses.  Move, move now or die.

 Jude Law says kill it Hildebrand:

Insert motivating music here
Insert motivating music here