The One Where I keep Dozing Off While Writing (18 / 365)

They say never work wit kids (and neither of us know how to brush our hair)

They say never work wit kids (and neither of us know how to brush our hair)

Just a quick post tonight; it’s late and as the title says, I keep dozing (literally, I started this post 23 minutes ago).  I included my daughter in today’s pic because she is my youngest and has been extra loving to me this weekend,  maybe she recognizes too that Dad needs a lift this weekend.  And, just by her being in the pic, I look better.

i am sleepy a lot and that is probably mostly due to Apnea, but it is also because I need to crank the intensity of my workouts up a bit and also spend that time at night in recovery mode.  We forget that recovery is sometimes more important than activity.  GET YOUR SLEEP ON

One thing I saw on a partner Fitfluential blog out there this week is to post your training plan once a week and then asses, lightly without going too crazy (like my blog use to); so here is my plan for 6/24 to 6/30:

Mon / Fri – 40 minutes bike / Abs
Tue / Thu – 2 resistance circuits
Wed – 26 m HIIT Bike
Sat – 60+m bike low intensity

So that is my kick ass plan for this week, i am going to spend the rest of tonight visualizing that I am doing it.  Kicking ass and taking names.  Namaste.



The One Where I am Half In (11 / 365)

Half man Indeed!

Half man Indeed!

Kind of the story of my day.  Half the day was beautiful, family, love, Father’s Day, motivation, inspiration….

…The second half was aggravation, tension, grumpiness.  I guess I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too, today.  I blame nobody but me and expect nobody but me to resolve my own grumpiness.  As it should be, right?  Probably because all of the celebration food I indulged in, as well as no gym.  My fault entirely, now I got’s to do better tomorrow.

See you on the Work-a-Day Monday friends, Namaste.

Salt Lake City, UT

What does it mean to be homesick? Really? If home is where you lay your head or home is where the heart is at, theoretically anywhere I may roam, is home, right?

So what is it about a place that makes us long for it more than normal? Is it a moment that we shared there? Is it the people whose faces once were so clear in our mind, but are starting to fade as memories?

Even then, was it always good times? That seems improbable, so there has to have been bad times too, but they seem to have already faded in the memory that has become jaded and clouded from the day to day.

What does it mean to be homesick? If I live in one place, is that not my home? Do I get sick for my front door when I leave for work? Do I pine for my bathroom? No, I don’t think that I do.

How did I become homesick? I mean, I moved away, so I had to be ready for a change. Why now? Why does my mortal mind recoil at the thought of spending eternity where I am at right now? Physically, not the people, let’s be clear on that immediately.

How can I be homesick for a place I was not even born? If I leave here, in five years will I be homesick for here?

What does it mean to be homesick? I think it is our mind laughing at old jokes, visiting the highlight reel of the place we called home for some time. Breathing in the cotton candy essence of the day to day, and ignoring the tar sticky bad things.

Its remembering that you saw an autographed receipt at the old laundry Stonewash, signed by Stephen Jenkins of 3Eb, and how cool you thought that was that a rockstar you just discovered had his underwear cleaned at the same place you did. It is forgetting that the Spaghetti Factory on Fifty-Fourth and Redwood Road was where you had your heart truly broken for the fist time. Or is that part of it?

What does it mean to be homesick? It’s knowing that there are no balls on the Indian at the state capital. It’s knowing that gravity hill use to be pretty fucking awesome and Memory Grove use to be a skanky dark little drug den. Not unlike Pioneer park (now an artisan community), Liberty Park (urban outdoor mecca) and Fairmont Park (actually, this one hasn’t changed).

What does it mean to be homesick? It means really thinking of the worst of the place you live. It means remembering that graduations happen in casinos. It means that movies happen in casinos. It means thinking that the grass is greener a little to the north. Is it really?

What does it mean to be homesick? It means dilutedly thinking that Kearns is a way better place to raise your family than Henderson. It means thinking that you could probably make Ten Thousand less a year there and still survive, It means thinking all of your problems will disappear as soon as you close the door on the Uhaul.

What does it mean to be homesick? It means not knowing. It means a leap of faith; it means taking advantage of Credit One and get my fucking degree while I can and let them pay for it and go along and say yes sir, and shave and wear slacks and not give a damn that we don’t have money to visit the place that has made me so homesick.

What does it mean to be homesick? It means thinking hot dogs grilled over a fire in Big Cottonwood Canyon taste better than those grilled at Mt. Charleston (they don’t). It means hiking in the Wasatch is so much more beautiful than the Red Rock area (its not). It means thinking that the snow at Alta is so much more powder and slick than Mt. Charleston (OK, got me there again Utah).

What does it mean to be homesick? It means thinking this time, when you go home, it will be different. You will do everything as a family, it will all be Summer Sun Shiny all day. That it will be Leatherby’s and Lagoon every weekend instead of Mr. D’s and Wet n’ Wild (still not sold on that). It is knowing that SL Bee’s baseball is better than Las Vegas 51’s (wait, don’t the Cubs come play a preseason weekend here?).

What does it mean to you, to be homesick?

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Oops, I Effed up Mother’s Day

Mothers Day 2013 went down as an unbridled failure. Somewhere along the day I and the kids just did not bring the funk or fun, and I feel we left something on the bench and not on the field. I told Amanda, who confirmed it with an unanimous, “That’s OK, I don’t need it”.


I went back over the days events and thought; breakfast? Check. Coffee? Check. Alone Time for mama? Check. Nap Time for dad? Check. No flowers? Check. Wait a goddamn minute here, I think I see what is going on, maybe when I suggested Armageddon for the movie to watch as a family, I was thinking of only myself…

I blew it this year. I have learned my lesson. No matter what me, mothers day is not just about your own mom, but if you have someone in your house that wipes the ass of anyone shorter than two feet, you better make today damn well about her too. Let me lay down some advice from someone who should know better, what with five kids and all:

  1. It doesn’t matter what type of income family you are, you make sure she has flowers. Pretty ones that you give to her while kissing her and telling her you love all that she has done for your family.
  2. It doesn’t matter what, but get those damn kids to make her something to unwrap. A fucking macaroni portrait of her favorite Son of anarchy (I am betting Jax on this), it matter little.
  3. Do not suggest Armageddon as the mothers day family movie
  4. do not tell her that you were thinking of her while stroking one out earlier
  5. Breakfast in bed or at the table with a card is ALWAYS a good start, but bringing home pizza is not her idea of a romantic dinner
  6. No matter what says a trip to the storage shed is NOT a romantic getaway.

So, even though I blasted my two boys in Salt Lake with righteous indignation for not even texting Amanda, I still blew it. The mother of 3/5ths of my kids is the most amazing thing on Earth, and I treated it like it was lazy Sunday

I apologize Amanda, sincerely and with a sad heart. I am not good at this husband thing, there is a reason outside of the evil of previous wives that you are number three. I am just not very good at this, no matter how much I love you. And I do, every second of every day you are the best thing in my life.

So I blew it today, there will be next year, and I will probably screw up your birthday too. But that is why I love you, you forgive my stupidity and faults. Happy mothers day boo. I love you,.