The One That Starts July (26 / 365)

#damnsonyouaintthicknecksierthanme

#damnsonyouaintthicknecksierthanme

Happy July 1st.  I bring this to you 2 hours (pacific) before the day becomes the 2nd, what can I say sometimes I am a procrastinator.  I had my wife help me with this picture, and wow, unflattering even from behind, but there is a message in my pic for today.

I am coming to the close of my first 30 pic-a-day sessions, that is nearly ten percent done and I kind of hoped I’d be closer to five percent on my way to my goals.  But I am not, and I am actually OK with that.  Over the last 26 days, I have learned a lot about my motivations to lose weight, what I want to do when I get there, my wife and children’s needs and roles on this path and the haters role; a hater hates through action and inaction, those that struggled with me on this road and those that do not will be remembered accordingly, ominous but true.  One of the first things we have to do to get and stay healthy is surround ourselves with those that are healthy.

This picture is me looking toward the horizon.  As you can see, even though the blur, there are a lot of things in my path to the horizon.  I believe a fence is in there, houses, all the miles and hell, even a port-a-potty.  It is not easy, it is not always fun, but it is something I am determined to do.  Thank you all for sticking with me, but especially my wife for putting up with the changes I am going through as I adjust back to trying to be a healthier and happier me.  I am going to post my goals for July in a moment, but it is  MOTIVATION MONDAY and I want to take a moment to speak about someone that has motivated me and it took me a bit to realize it.

I am blessed to have a wonderfully funny, charming and kind father-in-law in Mark G.  He married Amanda’s mom a little more than a year ago and has been a big part of our life.  Not only has he learned to love us, and that is tough to do, but he genuinely enjoys us and takes time with me, Amanda and the kids.  Along the way, Mark has lost a lot of weight, you can see it in his demeanor; he looks much healthier and happier than when I met him, while I unfortunately have been going the other way.  Every morning Mark has a post on Facebook either just before or just after I wake up (and I am an early riser) thanking God and offering blessings and lessons.  Theologically, Mark and I are on the opposite side of the compass, but he still takes time to pray for me and my family, share his faith and that my friends is the true inspiration.  Mark is teaching me how to be kind again and have faith in something outside of my control.  I do not think I will fallow the religion of Christianity again in my life, but the lessons he shares help me to live a life of gratitude, joy and love.  Mark, I really appreciate you.

Mark is very humble and would say it is God’s will he has lost weight and that is fine, and Mark even if you feel that Jesus is on the treadmill or walking with you, I am still proud of the work you have put in on yourself even if the reasons and means are very different.  Keep being you, you are a blessing and I am going to take you up on the guy’s day at the movies soon.

That my friend is the lesson for July for me.  Gratitude.  How can I share it better, live it more and love it longer?  My goals for this month will reflect that, and here they are:
1) Career – Yes, sometimes the day to day of my job sucks guano.  But I have a job that takes care of my family and I will work this month on responding with gratitude instead of negativity to the bad that comes.

2) Fitness – I will be grateful for any weight loss this month, but am shooting for 15 pounds

3) Family – One of the things I did not get a lot of when I grew up was family time.  I sometimes feel that I do not get a moment of silence between work and bed, but Amanda really does try to let me.  This month, I will be grateful for my kid’s special traits and ensure that we spend time as a family more than once a week doing something together.  This month my younger son, Adam, will be joining us from Utah so that makes it even more dope.

4) Cycling – I have been bored on the bike at the gym, I will learn to be grateful that I CAN cycle indoors and get in shape by riding 200 miles on the indoor trainer this month

5) Amanda – Amanda is my gift from the Goddess and sometimes I reward her for loving me by being a passive aggressive jerk, jealous and blue.  I will show her how grateful I am that she is in my life this July

I think those are pretty good goals.  Of course, my pic-a-day project “Weight loss 365” will continue daily and not so wordy, but this IS my first post of the month.

I am grateful that you take a few moments to stop by, it is an awesome feeling to know that even for a moment, someone else read my words and felt a reason to click “like” or “follow”.  This path of weight loss can be ugly, but it doesn’t have to be lonely.  Namaste.

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The One You’re Gonna Wanna Keep (23 / 365)

Ponderous man, Very  ponderous

Ponderous man, Very ponderous

…Told you this would be wierd.

This is the one!  Keep this photo as a keepsake of a “I knew him when”. Don’t get me wrong, i will not be getting famous anytime soon, but this is the last picture of me accepting pain, failure and the lies I tell myself daily that I am not good enough.  The descent or downward spiral is over, now I am back.

I had expected this to start earlier in my pic-a-day process, i knew it would catch on to me, i just had to have faith.  I don’t even think Amanda really understood why I seemed so voracious to copy her pic-a-day, but I saw something in that idea that could help me.  I knew that if i could post positive pieces with pictures that along the way, a mental transformation would begin and i would be back to the place I was in 2010 where I began the original weightloss.

You have no idea how good it feels to be ridding myself of these shackles that I put in place.  I think EVERYONE will slowly start to see a difference, and you will see it here also in the pics, in the posts and in the love.  Namaste.

The One Where I say “Enough Planning” (13 / 365)

Ohhhhhh, Spooky

Ohhhhhh, Spooky

So, they planned on building a big ass boat that couldn’t be sunk.  They also planned on conquering the Russian front in winter.  They also planned on opening their dream coffee house in Downtown Las Vegas ahead of the coming boom.  This is a picture of me planning my 2014 Sprint Tri Training Run.  BUT, like the other plans, they are only words on a paper unless I get up tomorrow at 5:30, get to the gym for my daily AM cardio.

Visualize the gym, the bike, the ride, the sweat, the pain, the desire to stop cause your fat, the enemy creeping up your ass telling you you aren’t good enough.   Visualize you kicking the enemy in the balls and going for 5 more minutes, because you are a bad ass and stronger than your fat.  Imagine the stretching in the sauna, how your muscles will soften and stretch and feel so good.

Visualize you being stronger than you were when you entered the gym, and you fucking know it.  Allez Mike, Allez.

You can do it too, you are a bad ass, and stronger than you ever thought possible.  Tell me how it goes tomorrow, motivate my fat ass.  Namaste.

The Have and the Have Not Knot

A fellow blogger of mine and I must be on the same wavelength, Awesome Ashilde (sorry my friend, I do not know how to add the diactric 😦 ), posted about the power of positive thinking and visioning called “What Can the Power of Your Mind Do?“;  Take a few moments and go check out her blog and then come back to this one.  Pretty awesome stuff eh?  Pretty bad pun there  forgive me.

For the past few weeks, since the end of May, I had been trying to figure out why I was not getting anywhere with my weight loss journey.  I was about to start my Weightloss 365 project, I was a member of Gym-Pact and going to the gym at least 4 times a week but still not losing, and in fact, I had gained a couple more.  Looking back, we were still not key on the food side and that was a big part of it, but an even bigger part goes back over 16 months now.  Probably to October 2011.

That was the month I stopped seeing me as a triathlete, a runner, a climber, a hiker or fitness rat.  Instead my vision changed to that of husband and father at 40.  And it scared me, it brought me a lot of stress, fear, doubt and anger at times.  Of COURSE this was in addition to all of the love, happiness, gladness, excitement and hope that overwhelmed the others like 4 to 1, but it was still a seed and my vision plan of Mike fell to the side.

When you are planning something big you simply cannot get off plan.  I had gotten just over halfway to my goal weight in a little over 1 year.  I had lost over 120 pounds in 13 months, that is freaking huge and I had so much more on my plate but decided I could focus on myself less and less and focus on the other roles first.

When we see professional athletes or musicians that are literally at the top of their game, what do we think?  sometimes we think arrogance and ego and we would not be wrong.  There is so much work to be the best at your game that you have to put yourself first and for right or wrong, sometimes that causes these men and women to make bad choices and cheat at their sport, or in their personal life.  But at the core of what they were doing, putting themselves and their game first, was absolutely correct.

Let me ask you a question, if you are out of shape and not taking care of yourself before ALL other things, how are you going to be around to take care of everything else?  You won’t be.

That was what I had forgotten, before my wonderful marriage and baby with Amanda it was easy, I was alone and could and would put my needs above all others.  I still have to, just tempered down a notch and I have to remember it’s not going to be as easy as it was before.  But I still can do it.  I don’t blame anyone or expect anyone sympathy for my loss of vision, that is what vision is, it belongs to the owner so nobody can take it away.  I alone lost it.

Think about Christian prayer, Wiccan spellcasting, pre-game drills and rituals, rally caps.  What do all of these have in common?  They are all part of the vision process and allow us to creatively see what we want, focus energy on it and make it happen, and believe me when I say i have cast a few spells and got EXACTLY what i wanted even though maybe I wasn’t 100% on target to what i wanted.

By seeing myself as a triathlete in making, a hiker and climber, I had  become these things.  I was riding my bike everywhere, I had taken up running and was looking for a swim team to learn to swim.  I was hiking at least every few weeks, both urban and nature, and was well on my way to climbing by the end of 2012.  Then my vision changed as I mentioned and I saw myself as father, husband and breadwinner.  I have to incorporate my earlier vision into my current vision.

To make this long post come to a close, last week I began to see myself as father, husband, breadwinner, triathlete in making, climber, hiker, and cheerleader for my kids and family and continue to use POSITIVE voice instead of NEGATIVE voice, I have made some folks smile, made a new friend or two and weight wise have lost over 5 pounds this week.  That is amazing and part of my vision.  The most awesome thing about this, is that creative visioning is self-perpetuating.

What do I mean?  The more I see myself in the way I want to be seen, the easier it is to meet my short to intermediate goals and when I meet those goals, it is easier to see myself in the way I want to be seen and so on.  Amazing!  It works.

So for this week I challenge YOU to post one positive thing in social media, to workout at least three times this week and more importantly, come up with one positive light to see yourself in this week and make it happen.  I KNOW you can do this, I can see it in you.

Before I forget to all those who are fathers or “fathers” or fathers to be, happiest of all fathers day to you.  It is the unsung hero of our generation who makes his kids feel like they can achieve anything.

Namaste.

The sexy one (4/365)

Sometimes weight-loss isn’t so sexy, as I say, sometimes well, it just is.  This was not my original picture for the day, but my wife caught me oozing sublime sexiness over the breakfast table and I couldn’t help but share it.  Apparently, I do not like to wear shirts or comb my hair.  See you tomorrow, Namaste.

Stand back ladies, this one is married!

Stand back ladies, this one is married!