The One That Starts July (26 / 365)



Happy July 1st.  I bring this to you 2 hours (pacific) before the day becomes the 2nd, what can I say sometimes I am a procrastinator.  I had my wife help me with this picture, and wow, unflattering even from behind, but there is a message in my pic for today.

I am coming to the close of my first 30 pic-a-day sessions, that is nearly ten percent done and I kind of hoped I’d be closer to five percent on my way to my goals.  But I am not, and I am actually OK with that.  Over the last 26 days, I have learned a lot about my motivations to lose weight, what I want to do when I get there, my wife and children’s needs and roles on this path and the haters role; a hater hates through action and inaction, those that struggled with me on this road and those that do not will be remembered accordingly, ominous but true.  One of the first things we have to do to get and stay healthy is surround ourselves with those that are healthy.

This picture is me looking toward the horizon.  As you can see, even though the blur, there are a lot of things in my path to the horizon.  I believe a fence is in there, houses, all the miles and hell, even a port-a-potty.  It is not easy, it is not always fun, but it is something I am determined to do.  Thank you all for sticking with me, but especially my wife for putting up with the changes I am going through as I adjust back to trying to be a healthier and happier me.  I am going to post my goals for July in a moment, but it is  MOTIVATION MONDAY and I want to take a moment to speak about someone that has motivated me and it took me a bit to realize it.

I am blessed to have a wonderfully funny, charming and kind father-in-law in Mark G.  He married Amanda’s mom a little more than a year ago and has been a big part of our life.  Not only has he learned to love us, and that is tough to do, but he genuinely enjoys us and takes time with me, Amanda and the kids.  Along the way, Mark has lost a lot of weight, you can see it in his demeanor; he looks much healthier and happier than when I met him, while I unfortunately have been going the other way.  Every morning Mark has a post on Facebook either just before or just after I wake up (and I am an early riser) thanking God and offering blessings and lessons.  Theologically, Mark and I are on the opposite side of the compass, but he still takes time to pray for me and my family, share his faith and that my friends is the true inspiration.  Mark is teaching me how to be kind again and have faith in something outside of my control.  I do not think I will fallow the religion of Christianity again in my life, but the lessons he shares help me to live a life of gratitude, joy and love.  Mark, I really appreciate you.

Mark is very humble and would say it is God’s will he has lost weight and that is fine, and Mark even if you feel that Jesus is on the treadmill or walking with you, I am still proud of the work you have put in on yourself even if the reasons and means are very different.  Keep being you, you are a blessing and I am going to take you up on the guy’s day at the movies soon.

That my friend is the lesson for July for me.  Gratitude.  How can I share it better, live it more and love it longer?  My goals for this month will reflect that, and here they are:
1) Career – Yes, sometimes the day to day of my job sucks guano.  But I have a job that takes care of my family and I will work this month on responding with gratitude instead of negativity to the bad that comes.

2) Fitness – I will be grateful for any weight loss this month, but am shooting for 15 pounds

3) Family – One of the things I did not get a lot of when I grew up was family time.  I sometimes feel that I do not get a moment of silence between work and bed, but Amanda really does try to let me.  This month, I will be grateful for my kid’s special traits and ensure that we spend time as a family more than once a week doing something together.  This month my younger son, Adam, will be joining us from Utah so that makes it even more dope.

4) Cycling – I have been bored on the bike at the gym, I will learn to be grateful that I CAN cycle indoors and get in shape by riding 200 miles on the indoor trainer this month

5) Amanda – Amanda is my gift from the Goddess and sometimes I reward her for loving me by being a passive aggressive jerk, jealous and blue.  I will show her how grateful I am that she is in my life this July

I think those are pretty good goals.  Of course, my pic-a-day project “Weight loss 365” will continue daily and not so wordy, but this IS my first post of the month.

I am grateful that you take a few moments to stop by, it is an awesome feeling to know that even for a moment, someone else read my words and felt a reason to click “like” or “follow”.  This path of weight loss can be ugly, but it doesn’t have to be lonely.  Namaste.


Salt Lake City, UT

What does it mean to be homesick? Really? If home is where you lay your head or home is where the heart is at, theoretically anywhere I may roam, is home, right?

So what is it about a place that makes us long for it more than normal? Is it a moment that we shared there? Is it the people whose faces once were so clear in our mind, but are starting to fade as memories?

Even then, was it always good times? That seems improbable, so there has to have been bad times too, but they seem to have already faded in the memory that has become jaded and clouded from the day to day.

What does it mean to be homesick? If I live in one place, is that not my home? Do I get sick for my front door when I leave for work? Do I pine for my bathroom? No, I don’t think that I do.

How did I become homesick? I mean, I moved away, so I had to be ready for a change. Why now? Why does my mortal mind recoil at the thought of spending eternity where I am at right now? Physically, not the people, let’s be clear on that immediately.

How can I be homesick for a place I was not even born? If I leave here, in five years will I be homesick for here?

What does it mean to be homesick? I think it is our mind laughing at old jokes, visiting the highlight reel of the place we called home for some time. Breathing in the cotton candy essence of the day to day, and ignoring the tar sticky bad things.

Its remembering that you saw an autographed receipt at the old laundry Stonewash, signed by Stephen Jenkins of 3Eb, and how cool you thought that was that a rockstar you just discovered had his underwear cleaned at the same place you did. It is forgetting that the Spaghetti Factory on Fifty-Fourth and Redwood Road was where you had your heart truly broken for the fist time. Or is that part of it?

What does it mean to be homesick? It’s knowing that there are no balls on the Indian at the state capital. It’s knowing that gravity hill use to be pretty fucking awesome and Memory Grove use to be a skanky dark little drug den. Not unlike Pioneer park (now an artisan community), Liberty Park (urban outdoor mecca) and Fairmont Park (actually, this one hasn’t changed).

What does it mean to be homesick? It means really thinking of the worst of the place you live. It means remembering that graduations happen in casinos. It means that movies happen in casinos. It means thinking that the grass is greener a little to the north. Is it really?

What does it mean to be homesick? It means dilutedly thinking that Kearns is a way better place to raise your family than Henderson. It means thinking that you could probably make Ten Thousand less a year there and still survive, It means thinking all of your problems will disappear as soon as you close the door on the Uhaul.

What does it mean to be homesick? It means not knowing. It means a leap of faith; it means taking advantage of Credit One and get my fucking degree while I can and let them pay for it and go along and say yes sir, and shave and wear slacks and not give a damn that we don’t have money to visit the place that has made me so homesick.

What does it mean to be homesick? It means thinking hot dogs grilled over a fire in Big Cottonwood Canyon taste better than those grilled at Mt. Charleston (they don’t). It means hiking in the Wasatch is so much more beautiful than the Red Rock area (its not). It means thinking that the snow at Alta is so much more powder and slick than Mt. Charleston (OK, got me there again Utah).

What does it mean to be homesick? It means thinking this time, when you go home, it will be different. You will do everything as a family, it will all be Summer Sun Shiny all day. That it will be Leatherby’s and Lagoon every weekend instead of Mr. D’s and Wet n’ Wild (still not sold on that). It is knowing that SL Bee’s baseball is better than Las Vegas 51’s (wait, don’t the Cubs come play a preseason weekend here?).

What does it mean to you, to be homesick?

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